Friday, February 25, 2011

"Hey look at me, ain't I cute?"

Hey Ghoulies,

     Wow, October 17th, 2010.  That was the day of my last post.  Needless to say the Laboratory has been looking a little dusty and cobweb-y lately.  What happened was I got sucked into this temporary office job in West Los Angeles, and it took up quite a bit of my time.  Very quickly, it was beginning to look like it was going to turn into a permanent position, but earlier this month I was told that the company wasn't ready to hire me directly.  So, my temp gig ended when it was supposed to, and I'm out of a job again.  Yeah, it completely blows, but I'm not going to piss and moan about it.

     A few days ago I read a tweet from a local horror filmmaker I'm following on Twitter talking about how much he loves his job being around monsters all day long.  Cue the overhead light and heavenly music, because here comes the epiphany: I suddenly said to myself,

     That's what I want to do!  Wait, shit, that's what I always wanted to do!  Why the fuck did I go to university to study theater for?  Why did I move to LA?  Just to live out the movie Office Space for the rest of my life?!

     The truth is my career priority was screwed up, and for a stupid reason at that.  Intellectual types call it "low self-image", but I call it not having the balls to throw myself out there.  I keep thinking back to what George Carlin once said to John Stewart about was at the heart of getting into comedy.  He said it's all about, "Hey look at me, ain't I cute?"  I believe that's true with everybody in entertainment, and that is something I, personally, have not done enough of.  Instead of jumping up and down and going, "Hey look at me, ain't I cute?", I don't say a damn thing.  Worse, there have been times when I do jump and down, shouting, "Hey look at me, ain't I cute?", then I get freaked out and lull myself back into silence, like I did with a couple of horror sites.  Doesn't exactly give the impression of someone who's serious, does it?

     I'm in need of work right now to pay the bills, but I absolutely refuse to once again get sucked into the mental mind trap called "stability", or else I'm going to be the Comic Book Guy when he realizes he's wasted his life right before the nuclear missile drops on him.  At this moment I'm right here, so I might as well go for it.

    I'm moving ahead and getting into acting.  It has been a long time since I've been a performer, and I feel like my talent and my education is going to waste.  It is what I went to school for: the purpose of living out my dream of helping bring fantasy worlds to the big screen.  Call it my way of saying thanks to all those who brought so much joy to my childhood.  If my fellow Southern Californians are reading this, and I hope you are, I could use any and all advice, tidbits, warnings... anything to help me get started.  If there are any horror filmmakers out there I would love the opportunity to work with you.  I can't guarantee you de Niro, but I can promise you no dumbass or diva, though.  Thank you in advance for the chance.

     And thanks to all you ghoulies for listening to me rant for a bit.  Hope it wasn't too painful.

~ Doc



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